Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

Its been seventy-three days since he was inside me. Seventy-three days ago I ended things between us. I mark this day by putting an x on the calendar on my bedroom wall near the window. In that moment I peer down the street through my window and smile forms on my lips. I take a deep breath as I wonder,

Am I stronger now without him?

My mind drifts from this question to sweet things I wish I could do for him. Make his breakfast, do his laundry, his dishes, clean his bathroom, surprise him with new cologne… and the one thing I miss terribly, making him laugh.

Even though he is a cur, I’m still a sweetie. I shake my head to jiggle those thoughts away, then hang my head as if that will some how make my desires fade…

He’s a despicable cur, the type that would never appreciate ME.

The vibes, the vibrations from my phone… I look at it.

Shit! Its that damn cur! Heartbreaking indignant s.o.b. He didn’t earn my heart but caged it anyway. He used me, he made my body yearn for him, he kissed me, he left me, he came back…

He pulled my hair, he spanked me, he went away, he came back, he fed me his soul, he told me no, he gave me yes, he licked me low, he let me go.

Phone to my face: Hello

Him: Just calling to let you know that I broke things off with the girl I was seeing, and its not that I’m trying to get back with you or anything like that, I just wanted to let you know the good news and if you’re free this Saturday I’d like to take you out…


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