I was twenty-seven and in a relationship that was depressing, when I asked myself “what’s wrong with what I expect from men?” And yes, I assumed that because I was not getting what I needed with men, that I was the one doing something wrong. As this was all going on inside my head, I decided to listen to love songs to soothe myself and as I was humming to my favorite tunes it hit me. I had believed what the singers sung about. My ideals about how love should go came from what I had be listening to in music ever since I was a child. Needless to say, I was on the horizon of break up and I felt so betrayed by the love songs that I grew up listening to. I had taken great pride in all the Cd’s that I had in my collection. How could I have been such a fool to base my relationship decisions on songs where male and female vocalist promised “real love” and commitment. I even pursued guys who could sing or resembled my favorite male vocalist as I was chasing the fairy-tales advertised in love songs.
Looking for what I heard in love songs caused me to waste a lot of time on the dating scene, and none of my encounters were real. I feel betrayed by love songs. There should be a disclaimer, that most of what young, unknowing females hear in songs won’t actually happen in life. Men won’t love you forever and most certainly won’t show up and rescue you.
Now that I am in my late thirties, I listen to love songs in a very different way. I move to the beat and ignore the words. I tune in to the sound of the singers voice and completely ignore the words.