I used to feel off balance after arguments with men. By off balance I mean, after arguments with men I felt less feminine, exhausted and my larynx was sore. I also noticed that at what I thought was the end of an argument, nothing had changed. Nothing I said made a difference to him.
So one day, after a difficult argument, I decided to stop speaking for a while. During this period of time that I had been silent, I focused on myself more. I reflected on my arguments and realized that I had argued with every man in my life.
During my silence I noticed that I wasn’t arguing with anyone at all. The men in my life continued to live their lives and I’m sure they felt ease and a sense a relief because I was being quiet. While not speaking I realized that men do not want or need any woman to tell him what to do. When men did speak to me I mostly responded with okay, and was very direct when answering questions. I was feeling so at peace within myself while being silent, that my normal habit of voicing my opinion had subsided.
Men want authority, they need authority and control. Many men today do not get to be in control and so we are seeing a break down in male behavior. Women are seeing many things from men that are leaving them hurt and confused. What can women do? One thing you can do immediately is to stop arguing with the men in your life.
Tempting as it might be do not give a man your point of view unless he asks you, and even then you have to be careful and use your discernment about what to say in response to his questions and how to say it. Look at this way, if you had a co-worker who had terrible allergies to french fries, would you bring french fries for them at work ever? No you wouldn’t.
A man’s behavior is a direct result of his disposition. Men are not and have not been getting some of their fundamental needs met for a very long. This is not about making excuse for men, its me providing understanding for women who are emotionally available and know that everything is not what it seems. Men do things that hurt women and the big mistake is for women to believe that its unexplainable.
If you believe there is no explanation or solution you won’t utilize knowledge to your benefit. After I was quiet for three weeks, I started pilates and breathing exercises. I learned new things. To stop arguing means to stop talking.
If you’d like to know more about my silence journey as I have been a quiet woman for over two years please leave your comment.